How to Restore Your Clan
by Pishivee
Summary: Naruto teaches Sasuke the basics of restoring one's clan. Rated T for images that may appear in the head. READ TILL THE END! That's where it gets funny! Oneshot.


**How to Restore Your _insert clan name here_ Clan**

**Disclaimer: This claim her mind makes isn't so...she doesn't own Naruto or related characters.**

Sasuke was lost in thought after the mission. He thought back to what he had seen. Although that mission was nothing special, simply a visit to help some peasants out, he had been touched.

"_Mom! He's bullying me again!" "Quite down, both of you! We have guests here, and your younger sister is sleeping!"_

Mother. Brother.

"_Yay! The fence is finished! Now Uma-chan won't run away!" "Thanks, ninja people!" "Yes, thank you indeed. This means a lot to us." "Oh, it was nothing," said Kakashi-sensei, "Right?" Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura: "Yeah!" Then the mother suddenly grabs the three disciples into a warm hug._

Love. Family.

"_We would be honored if you would stay for dinner with us. It's getting dark, and you're welcome to stay the night here." Kakashi-sensei: "Hmm, so it is. Let's see now…You guys aren't a rush to be anywhere, are you?" Naruto: "No! Dinner sounds great!" Sakura: "Thank you for inviting us!" "Oh, it's no problem. You really did us a big favor."_

A loving home.

"_It's been hard with my husband gone. Especially on the kids. That's why I needed help for something as simple as repairing a fence. The children take up all my time because they're so young. They really miss their father."_

Loss. Sadness. Father.

_Itachi. _Sasuke's brows furrowed at the thought of the man who had stolen everything from him.

"Are you okay, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, noting his bristling appearance.

"I will restore my clan," Sasuke replied quietly.

Kakashi looked ahead into the distance. He hadn't realized the effect of that mission on Sasuke.

"Hmph!" This came from Naruto. "Sasuke," said the mischief-maker, "All the girls in Konoha like you, so that won't be hard to do at all!"

Everyone sans Naruto stopped and stared, almost as if the comment were floating around in the air somewhere.

"What did you say!" demanded Sakura, swiftly delivering a TKO blow to his head.

"Well you can't just get people to convert clans! And clans don't spring up out of no where!"

Naruto appeared at Sasuke's side, nudging his ribs. "You know what I mean?"

Sasuke was disgusted with Naruto, but his face got redder the more he realized the truth in Naruto's words. His skin resembled a strawberry's by the time he came to a final conclusion.

"Oh Sasuke-kun! I'd love to go to bed with you tonight!" Naruto imitated an eager girl's voice.

While the other ninja stood there gaping, Naruto took advantage of the opportunity to perform his ninja harem jutsu, just to make the scene more convincing.

"It's _my _turn to make little Uchihas!" said one clone, leaning on Sasuke.

"You're already pregnant, dork!" said another, playing with Sasuke's hair.

"Hey Sasuke," said a third, "What happens when all your children are born? Are you going to make us your slaves so you don't have to take care of all of them by yourself?"

"Sasuke, this one still hasn't learned the Sharingan! I think it's a runt."

"Sasuke, are you going to love them all?"

"Are you going to love your wives, Sasuke?"

"How many wives are Uchiha men allowed to have?"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Sasuke leapt into the air, performing the special Uchiha fire technique to rid himself of all the female Naruto clones.

The real Naruto jumped out of the way. He stood off to the side, smirking. "Check on 'make Sasuke lose his cool' on my to-do list," Naruto said to himself.

"You took that a bit far," Kakashi said darkly, towering over Naruto menacingly.

"S-S-Sensei! I was just educating him…it's plain as day that he never thought of that himself!" Naruto stammered his weak argument.

"Let's just go home, shall we?" Kakashi said in a tone that was less of a suggestion and more of a command. "Quietly." He added, and Naruto nodded vigorously, afraid of what punishment Kakashi-sensei could inflict upon him.

Sasuke walked in front now, deeply unnerved because of Naruto. It was true; he had never thought about restoration like that.

He just hoped that that _lesson_ would never distract him. _Damn Naruto! _He thought, _why the hell is he so good at vulgar jutsu?_

Naruto smirked to himself one last time at his joke. _If we were any older, like going through puberty or something, Sasuke might've…_well, you know.


End file.
